i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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