OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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