you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
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