i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
