You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
