I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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