i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
