Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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