Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize