i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Is it because I queefed?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
