why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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