your room smells of hookers.
And success
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
