I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
