Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
