he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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