butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
