Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
