just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
