Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
