Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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