He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
