Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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