She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
