Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
