biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
