Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
