well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
