You just made me feel so damn special
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
