He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
