guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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