So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
