im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
