She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
