Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
