I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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