I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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