I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
