we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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