I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize