I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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