The maid of honor just puked.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
