Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize