I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
