We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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