thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
