see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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