Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Randomize