i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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