I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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