I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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