I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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