Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
