maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
