she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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