I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Of course I have a pirate flag
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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