i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
