Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
