you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
